Infra

What I Think

This is really an About Me; this is what I believe about myself, and about everyone else, too.

I could say a lot about how I wish I was more eloquent, about how I wish I had more will power. So I guess I’ll choose to say what’s been bothering me lately. “Lately” as in the last four years of my life.

What bothers me about myself, hell, about everyone, is that we have to fight the very nature of ourselves. This is the basis of every conflict we have managed to create for ourselves—every violent act, every depraved thought and action we continue to live with and not question. We are so selfish, so angry, so greedy, so disappointed, so judgemental, so…numb.

But what makes us all of these awful (yes, awful, even though what made me inherently think these are awful is the same thing that made me this way is our genes. But it is all subjective anyway) things also makes us caring, compassionate, altruistic, forgiving, and kind. Upon coming to realize this, I (and you, if you have found this, too, in yourself and believe it to be the truth) have to make a choice. A choice between living with what has been given to us (simple kindness, jealousy, anger, love, hatred, sympathy—everything) and of concious decisions.

We can choose to come to terms with our nature, and to overrule it. We can decide to be better, to push ourselves to do things that we don’t really want to because it forces us—makes us struggle—to think for ourselves.

Do things because you believe in them, not just because you want to.